What I See and what I Don’t… 😊

The process of creating is also the process of eliminating. 

After the initial inspiration, I seldom look up to see the scene, I let my imagination and the colours take over quietly and without fanfare or fuss… 😊 This, for me is the best way to overcome a block, if any. 
As I keep my art journal, my emphasis is on the mood and feel of what’s going through me rather than making an exact replica of what lies ahead in my field of vision. 

My journal is a collection of some truths, some half-truths and some complete lies 😁! 

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Words Worth

I see them floating around, pieces of paper, like confetti, carrying differently coloured words….disappointed…happy…maybe…been planning…so sad…glad…will do…nature…love…children…

All these are snippets of pages from ancient diaries, diaries maintained over years, never re-visited, re-read yet carrying the ominous burden of the past. Stories about real and imagined hurts, extreme happiness, earth shattering sadness, tales about life-altering decisions and completely misjudged predictions of the future. At the end of it, this is all they are…a collection of words used to express the ephemeral nature of the emotions one is going through in the process of living. At that time they act as valves, helping one let off steam or gain perspective, but then their work is done.  Holding on to them is like trying to grasp at shadows.

Therefore, I systematically tear them to bits and throw them up and they fall around me like refreshing rain. It is a hugely cathartic experience, like a ritual cleansing, like taking a long soak and watching the dirt move away, leaving a fresh and clear feeling in its wake.

It has been said, “Never make permanent decisions based on temporary emotions.”

These written words serve the purpose of showing just how temporary these emotions really are, how quickly they change colour and just how important it is to recognise them for this quality. There is nothing permanent about them, the feebleness of the word, “Never” or the fragility of the word, “Always”.  In a non-permanent world, they fool us into believing that it will be different for us, that we will buck the trend.

What they serve to show is that, permanence is the biggest fallacy and change is the undisputed constant.

As I sit in a sea of floating words, I let go of all that I thought was permanent and train myself to enjoy the only thing that is…this simple, beautiful, present moment.

And true to my nature..I reach for a pen to record this new, life-altering insight. 🙂 

 

Smiley Please :)

Smiley Please   🙂

I wake up in the morning and am greeted by the red light blinking in my phone cheerfully. It signifies the presence of a message of some sort.  Someone remembered me as I slept. Excitedly I open my inbox and find a round smiley with eyes shut and two small arms encircling it, it`s a hug to me from my daughter.  I send two hugs right back, letting her know that I am missing her twice as much.

On days when my daughter is not happy, I get sad smileys and they break my heart. `What happened?` I ask her, praying that it is something I can solve long distance. She sends me one back with eyes rolling. An assignment got delayed and now it cannot be submitted, yet more unhappy smileys follow. Cheer up, I tell her it`s not all that bad.  You are managing your new life admirably.  I put in a `thumbs up` sign for good measure. She sends me back a calm, meditative smiley with a halo around its head. Signifying elevated state of consciousness.  Despite myself, I grin.

These little, circular, emoticons have become a part of my life and my communication. Saying more with their little faces than words can sometimes express. Whether one is sad, happy, cool, naughty, loving, shy, sleepy or delighted, there is an emoticon for every feeling. The one I dread receiving the most has a bawling mouth and is shedding copious tears. I dislike thinking about what might have transpired before it landed on my screen in a full throated cry. Unfortunately tears cannot be wiped out long distance…..

When did conversation become so animated? Last I remember we used to be writing long letters expressing our feelings and describing our day and its events. By the time it reached the addressee, the event and the associated emotions were long forgotten.  Now I am depending on a grid of funny faces to complete my sentences and courier instant love and hugs to someone I cherish, who resides in a different country. It is a novel situation indeed.

A new emoticon has arrived, it is an empty speech bubble.  I look at it ironically because it expresses the vacant state of my mind. Just when I think I have understood life and technology a little, it gleefully pokes me to make me aware of just how little I know…  🙂