Memories, Entwined in Music… 

It was a perfect moment in time. 

My mom was visiting and I had cancelled all commitments to be with her without rushing around and stressing unnecessarily. She noticed this and conveyed her appreciation through a gentle smile. 

As I booked tickets for a movie followed by a leisurely lunch and discussed our day with her, she couldn’t help beaming. I hugged her and expressed my pleasure at having her home. She hugged me back with a tightness that surprised me. It held in it so much…. Love, pride, gratitude, blessings… Suddenly, my eyes brimmed with tears… My mom had given me everything she thought I might need to manage my adult life with equipoise and now she stood within my arms, frail and delicate, straight – backed and proud. 

As we headed home after our ‘date’, soft music filtered from the music system in the car that cocooned us from the outside traffic. Then that song started playing, the one my dad used to sing ever so beautifully…”Chain se hum ko kabhi..aap ne jeene na deeya…” I cast a sideways glance at my mom and saw a small tear form at the corner of her eye…. I skipped it, to the next one… But she requested me to put it back on… By this time a huge lump had formed in my throat too. 

“It’s been thirty-seven years… ” Mom said, “so much was taken away from us that day… But his music? That no one can can take away… Let it play…” 

We reached home, the sound of my dads singing reverberating in our individual memories… Rich, mellifluous, so him, so me, so mom, so Us…. 

That can never be taken away….. Ever…

Advertisements

Winter warmth.. 

​The winter sun is a great unifier. Everyone is attracted to its calm warmth and as they make their way to it, conversations start and words find release. As the group grows bigger, place is made for new entrants… Toddlers and strays and strangers. Humanity seems to have reached a comfortable place here.  
I watch from my studio balcony. Enjoying the sounds of laughter and children chasing each other. As the breeze steals their words and drops them near my coffee mug, I get a peek into their life. The joy of becoming a grandmother, a new recipe that turned out well, a new family member who is finding it difficult to adjust… As the conversations float, I sense a burden lifting from shoulders… It’s group therapy at its best… It makes me realise the importance of human connect. In a generation that is growing old together, it is important to know that friends are just a few steps away, in the open public lawn. 
This group shows me that it’s time to confirm that coffee date. The right time is now. Some conversations just cannot happen over whattsapp 😊

Memories of Dehradoon 

I remember fireflies and moonrise. 

These were the two things that I would wait for, make time for. I would look at the exact direction from where the moon would rise and judging by the soft glow emanating from behind the thickly forested hills, know exactly when it would make a glowing appearance. In the darkness of those times, where the perfection of night could be observed in all its splendor, when the hills were not inhabitated and street lights didn’t exist, it was the perfect setting to observe natures night life, especially stars and fireflies. 


Surrounded by night sounds of crickets and distant cries of jackals, I would settle myself on the corner of the railing and support my back against the wall. Floating life forms, glowing, would glide by, they would congregate near some self-chosen bush or tree and do their magical dance, mesmerising me completely. 

It was an isolated setting, yet one never felt alone. I made a lasting bond with my self during those silent obervations of nature. It was like the body ceased to have a boundary and just merged with its surroundings. And therein, I became the very breeze that moved the leaves on the trees at will or the moonlight that painted the landscape in a surreal silver hue.

Between the rising moon and the lively fireflies, the pressure cooker would whistle its lonesome call. Bringing images of a steam engine rolling through a desolate landscape, reminding me that dinner would not be too long now… I would get down from my perch and head downstairs after having inhaled a huge dose of solitude and beauty that would last a life time….

Todays glorious moonrise still reminds me of this…Of course, the only constant is the beauty of the moon in the distant sky. The setting from which I observe it now is altered beyond recognition…..

Thank You Mother

Thank you, Mother…
Thank you dear mother for giving me life…

To believe that after two boys, a girl in your family would be nice

To take that decision, so many years back

When your two sons were already like a lively wolf pack!

To plunge headlong once more, into active motherhood

Knowing that your time would be ours now, probably, for good

To have happily made that choice, with a smile on your gentle face

Always believing our presence in your life was Gods most benign grace


You brought us up, through frustrations and tears, happiness and laughter

Chiselling and molding our being, like a wise, master-crafter

Keeping the larger picture in mind, you guided us with care

Giving us wide wings and deep values, you nudged us to take to the air

As the three of us live our lives, it’s around you that we fly

Like once you did for us mother, now on you, we keep a watchful eye

We want bliss and happiness around you mom, never sadness or strife

That will be our small gift to you….

To YOU, who chose to give us life…